What It Means to Love Jesus as the Bride: A Call to Obedience, Not Emotion
The Masculine Nature of Divine Love
We often say “God is love,” but few pause to ask: what kind of love? Because not all love is equal in structure or expression. If we’re going to understand God’s love for humanity, we must first clear away the emotional fog we’ve layered over it. His love is not delicate. It is not submissive. It is not up for negotiation. It is—without apology—masculine.
And here, we must be very clear. When we say God’s love is masculine, we’re not making a statement about gender in the human sense. We are speaking of posture. Of function. Of order. God’s love initiates, commands, provides, protects, disciplines, and—when necessary—judges. It is not led. It leads. It is not soft in the way modern love demands. It is strong, structured, and final.
Marriage as the Model: Interpreting God’s Covenant
Now, I want to explore two kinds of love that help us understand this. The first is God’s love for us, which is complete, sacrificial, and unchanging. The second is the love between a man and a woman in holy matrimony. It is the latter that helps interpret the former. Marriage, when rightly ordered, is not a metaphor we happen to like—it is the model God chose.
As Paul writes in Ephesians 5:31–32, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the Church.” The design was never accidental. The roles are not interchangeable. This is theology in flesh.
Masculine and Feminine Expressions of Love
To “have love” for someone, in my view, is not to be tangled up in emotion. It is a sober stance—a commitment rooted in the character of the one giving. It requires no reciprocation. The sacrifice that flows from it is not reactive; it is principled.
But to be “in love” is to be moved toward the other. It is to orient yourself around the beloved—not out of need, but design. It is to pastor, to protect, to shoulder. It is a posture of movement. Of giving.
This is how God loves. Not sentimentally, but sacrificially. Not softly, but sovereignly. His love pursues. His love initiates. And His love demands a response.
This brings us to the question of submission.
To the man, God assigns the role of initiator. He is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. That is, he is to lead, provide, cover, and if necessary, die for her. This is not just responsibility—it is the exemplification of headship. His love must be expressed in motion. In doing.
But to the woman, God gives a different kind of weight. Her role is to submit. To respond. To obey—not as a servant, but as a bride. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). This is not oppression—it is alignment. Submission is not inferiority; it is structure. And it is the proper response to the kind of love that God expects the husband to offer.
A Love Witnessed in Nature
Now, this isn’t just theology—it’s observable in nature. Biologically, men express love instrumentally—through provision, action, and sacrifice (Buss, 2003). Women, influenced by oxytocin and estrogen, tend toward relational trust, submission, and emotional alignment—especially when safe, loving headship is in place (Taylor et al., 2000). Even Simon Baron-Cohen’s research on empathizing-systemizing shows the male brain as structurally inclined toward leadership and systems, while the female brain is designed to respond and connect relationally (Baron-Cohen, 2003).
So when Scripture says wives are to submit, and husbands are to lead, it isn’t issuing unfair terms. It’s reinforcing the pattern of masculine love and feminine love.
- For the man, love means sacrifice.
- For the woman, love means obedience.
The Redemption Story: Love That Claims, Not Courts
And nowhere is this more clearly revealed than in the redemption story itself.
Christ, the eternal Word, left heaven’s throne not to feel love, but to prove it. “He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8). He ransomed His bride not with affection, but with blood. He came not to court —but to claim her. The King descended not with roses, but with scars.
He did not initiate a conversation. He initiated a covenant.
And now—having loved her first—He expects the bride to love Him in return. Not through sentiment, but through surrender. “If you love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15). His love was cruciform. Hers must be obedient.
That is the pattern:
He dies.
She obeys.
He ransoms.
She yields.
He initiates.
She submits.
This is not symbolic—it is structural. He didn’t do this to give us a metaphor. He did it to institute a model: marriage. And through that model, we are meant to understand Him.
The Bride’s Response: Obedience as the Only Answer
The pattern is divine. The posture is clear.
Anything outside of this is disorder, no matter how loving it feels.
We live in an age that wants to soften God’s love—strip it of structure, rob it of authority, sentimentalize it beyond recognition. But God’s love has already been proven. The cross was not an emotional gesture—it was a blood contract. And He has no more to give. He has loved with everything. The only question now is whether we will obey with everything.
This is not emotional balance. It is spiritual order.
This is not equality. It is covenant.
This is not theory.
It is law.
Marriage is the revelation.
And obedience is the evidence.
He loved first.
Now the bride must say yes—
with her life.
A Question for the Bride
You are saved. We’ve already settled that.
This is not a letter to the sinner. This is not about your moment of salvation. That has happened. The blood has been shed. The veil was torn. You are the bride. You’ve been chosen, claimed, covered.
This is not about redemption.
This is about reciprocation.
So now, the only question left is:
Do you love Him?
Not abstractly. Not romantically. Not occasionally.
Do you love Him in submission?
Do you love Him in obedience?
Do you love Him in the only language He accepts from His bride—a surrendered life?
Do you still keep your independence and call it faith? Do you call Him Lord, yet resist His leadership?
He has proven His love. That part is finished.
So now— How will you love your Husband?
Because here is the truth: Your conscience cannot be absolved by church attendance, by tithing, by volunteerism, or by being in the good graces of people you esteem in the faith. These are not the terms of the covenant. This is not about culture, denomination, or the affirmation of a spiritual figure. No pastor holds the keys to your covenant. No church can act as your proxy.
This is personal. This is sacred. This is a clarion call from the heart of the Bridegroom Himself.
You are the bride.
So inspect your covenant.
Have you remained faithful to the terms?
Let he who has an ear to hear, hear what the Spirit of the Lord is saying to the Church (Revelation 2:7).
Selected References & Recommended Reading
- The Holy Bible (Ephesians 5, John 14, Philippians 2, Revelation 2)
- Buss, David M. The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. Basic Books, 2003.
- Baron-Cohen, Simon. The Essential Difference: Male and Female Brains and the Truth About Autism. Basic Books, 2003.
- Taylor, Shelley E., et al. “Biobehavioral Responses to Stress in Females: Tend-and-Befriend, Not Fight-or-Flight.” Psychological Review, vol. 107, no. 3, 2000, pp. 411–429.
